Emotional Roller Coaster

Oh no, seems to me that I have this sense of fear and insecurity growing inside me again.  This fear that history will repeat itself again when I give birth to Lambie, fear that hubby cannot give me the assurance and support needed, fear that I will sink into depression again, fear that our marriage will turn rocky again, fear that we will quarrel over his parents again, fear that my health will go downhill again, fear that I can't cope with two kids, fear that dear will think i'm neglecting him again.

Since dear decided to make the career switch, I have been trying to be as understanding and supportive as possible, lending him my listening ear every single day, preparing breakfast for him and making herbal tea if he's heaty. It has been very tough for him as he faced difficulty on engaging clients, dealing with the more emotional aspects of people as he has always been a more logical and non chalent person. But I could see that he's trying his best to learn and strive to do better every time.  It hurts to see him so stressed and losing weight over it. As far as possible, I hope to lighten his load by planning most of the stuff for our baby, and also in terms of coordination for house renovation. At one end, I'm looking forward to moving to our new house and welcoming the new baby, but I can't help feeling scared too.

Deep in my heart,  I'm actually hoping that with dear's change in career, he will become more sensitive to other people's needs and feelings. I remember last time when we had an argument after  Le Xuan was born, he said that I should tell him explicitly what I feel and what he can do to help, and that he would not know if i didn't do so. It hurt me a lot as I thought that as my husband and not a stranger, being more sensitive to my needs and taking initiative to do certain things are all acts of love for me and our child, and something that should come from his heart instead of being told to do so.

Questions started popping in my mind: Will dear say he's not being a good son if I say his parents need not come over to our house every single day during confinement as I really need some private space and rest? Will he think he's not a good son again if I say that they can come over to our house for dinner instead of us going out and looking for yummy eateries elsewhere, as I need to wash up the baby at 8pm and breastfeed every other hour? I know dear loves me a lot, and I love him dearly too. But sometimes I really can't help feeling like a second class citizen in front of his family. Oh well, perhaps my pregnancy hormones are working up again, time to move on and be more positive and cool!

Mother's Day 2015

This year, we didn't get to celebrate Mother's Day as a family as Dear has been busy and tired with work, and we had to celebrate with our mums as well.  Nevertheless, I'm surprised and touched with what my dear princess gave me for Mother's Day this year. I received a yellow carnation, a pair of pearl hair clips and also a bracelet nicely wrapped and contained in a box. 

Le Xuan really surprised me with the yellow carnation. At first, she told me that her school teachers were not doing anything with the students for Mother's Day this year and I really believed her! She managed to hide the flower when she got home, and sprang a surprise on me in the study room with the flower. 

As for the bracelet, she made it excitedly almost 2 weeks before Mother's Day! Although I knew she made a bracelet for me, I only got to see the product on Mother's Day as she managed to work with Po Po to wrap the gift nicely immediately after she was done with the bracelet :) 

It was quite a funny episode with regards to the hair clips. She asked if I could buy her a nice hair clip and requested that I bring her downstairs. I agreed but it was funny to see her taking money from her piggy bank and got her wallet ready before we went down. Haha, of course I knew what she had in mind. When we were at the accessory shop, she asked me what I like and said that she wanted to buy me a hair clip for Mother's Day. So I chose this pair of pearl hair clips, and she went make payment at the cashier happily.  My baby has really grown up, and I must say that I'm really blessed to have her as my daughter.  Please continue to grow healthily and happily, Mama loves you!

Papa's 34th birthday

Ooopsy, this is a super overdue post which I should have posted in January!! But better late than never!

This is a very happening year for our family as dear embarked on a new career as a financial planner, and we're going to move to our new house at One Canberra! On top of that, I'm expecting a baby (totally unexpected) which will be due in September *gasp*.  This also explains why I have not been blogging since Jan as I was grappling with morning sickness during the first trimester, and also busy tutoring a larger number of students this year. Fortunately, I do not need to worry too much about Le Xuan as she overcame her fear of going to school which also marked the success of Papa's initiative - The 20 smiley face challenge!!! *applause*

Le Xuan was wondering what to get for Papa's birthday, and I suggested that she could probably get a pencil case for him as Papa would need it for his new job.  Haha, she was so excited about it and I remember her getting money from her piggybank and we went to Popular bookstore to shop for it. In the end, she decided on a blue one and when I asked her why, she said, "Cos Papa likes blue!" After that, she even made a small birthday card (hiding in Porpor's room) and placed it inside the pencil case before asking me to help her wrap it up.  She was so secretive about it as she did not want Papa to know what she bought until his birthday. Oops but she didn't know that I have already let the cat out of the bag :P

I could remember vividly that a few days later, Le Xuan asked Papa what he hopes to get for his birthday. And of course, Papa said that he wish to have a pencil case. When Le Xuan heard that, her face beamed with delight and she quickly covered her mouth and hid herself behind the arm chair, so that Papa didn't see her reaction and got suspicious. It was so funny when she turned to me (still hiding behind the arm chair) and mouthed, "Papa wants to have a pencil case" and giggled. Sooooo cute!! We decided to celebrate Papa's birthday on 25 Jan (slightly earlier) and she was very happy to give Papa his birthday present :)

Happy Papa and Le Xuan with the blue pencil case

As usual, Papa's birthday celebration seemed more like Le Xuan's birthday as we decided to bring Le Xuan to Polliwogs! She had so much fun and of course Papa was happy to see darling enjoying herself, and not forgetting lunch at our favourite Ding Tai Fung after the fun.

Haha, our afternoon fun at Polliwogs and DTF was only round 1. There of course must be round 2 which was couple time! Since it's been a long afternoon of travelling, we decided to have a nice dinner at our favourite heartland mall Causeway Point! LOL. Dear and I had a lovely dinner at Shabu Shabu and it didn't really matter where we were so long as we have each other's company :) I know this year is especially challenging for dear, and I hope to be a supportive and understanding wife and be there for dear always! Jiayou laogong!!! Positivity breeds positivity! *hugz*